RelationshipTruth.Net

Romantic relationships are incredibly complicated these days. Yet, they are as simple as ever when we understand the eternal truth underneath it all

A quick history lesson is in order. For centuries women were terribly oppressed. They were not even given basic rights such as voting and employment. Hundreds, if not thousands of years of this oppression has given way to the modern women’s liberation movement, which was long overdue.

But after such oppression, it is only natural that there be a strong backlash against the oppressors. If we are to be honest, we must acknowledge this truth. In social and relationship circles now, women are faced with more and more pressure to “have it all” and act tough and strong. Women are in a delicate position, walking a fine line between retaining their innate sensitivity and having to fight to hold their ground. Meanwhile men try to reclaim a lost “sensitivity” from a brutish and boorish past.

These modern roles are definitely an improvement over where we have been. But they are a poor substitute for where we are going. Strength was once thought of as a largely male concept. But in this modern world feminine strength, feminine power is seen as equal to masculine power. In fact, in accordance with this “feminine backlash”, feminine strength is often seen to be more powerful than masculine strength.

But underneath it all, relationships come down to simple, eternal truths of masculine and feminine energy interacting. As much as we like to complicate life, there are simple rules and principles that govern everything. Relationships are no different. The timeless dance of yin and yang – the sun and moon.

Yes, every snowflake looks different, but they are all just frozen water.

I propose a couple of theories:
1. Relationships are where we come to experience ourselves through our gender.
2. Our gender identity is perhaps the deepest connection we have to our individual self in this lifetime.

No matter how much masculine power and strength a woman has, when she’s in a relationship she is looking to activate her feminine side. She’s looking to experience herself through that feminine gender and those qualities. No matter how much of a “hardcharging go-getter” she is in her career, if she’s a straight woman involved with men, she wants to relax into the strength of masculine energy. Period. She will respond to masculine power. It will activate her feminine side.

The same is true for a man, but in reverse. You can use the same model for a gay person or transgender. Whatever their gender identity, in relationships they are trying to bond through a positive gender experience.

A Scenario to Illustrate The Importance of Gender
Let’s say I am out taking a walk on a beautiful San Francisco day as I am prone to do. I look up and see coming toward me a beautiful golden Labrador retriever. Given that I love dogs, a feeling of anticipation wells up in me. I can’t wait to pet this dog. As the  dog draws near I start to gesture, the dog’s tail wags he gets excited runs over to me and I begin petting the dog.

I am a man, and his owner is a woman. I say a few things to the woman about her dog, “what’s his name”. She is standoffish. She thinks I’m hitting on her. Actually, I’m not. I love dogs and whether it was a man or woman walking a dog, I would be interested.

Of course every interaction between a man and a woman does not have this heavy insinuation, but there is a point when boundaries have to be established or crossed between people of different genders. The longer they interact, the more a magnetic force starts to take over.

This situation would unfold very differently if that were a man walking the dog. Let’s say for the sake of argument, he is a straight man and it’s not San Francisco! – in such a situation, it would not be assumed that there is any kind of sexual pressure to the interaction. It would be assumed that I’m only interested in the dog and I am sincere.

So let’s dissect that situation a little bit more to understand how important our gender is. First of all, on a creature level, the first thing I identify about another creature is whether they are a human being or not. “What kind of animal is that?”. It happens so quickly, especially when we see another human being, that we almost don’t notice it.

When I saw the woman walking the dog, I noticed there was a human woman and a dog. In fact, when I was younger I would have had a bit of an aversion toward being loving and open toward that dog, because I wouldn’t want a woman to think I’m hitting on her. Now, I don’t care.

The point is, my connection with every human animal is immediately on the level of gender. Yet, I never consider the gender of the dog at first. I may ask many questions about the dog, “how old is he?”, “what breed is he?”. In fact, I might not even ask if it’s an male or female at all. I will probably get to it, but I really don’t care.

My connection to the dog has nothing to do with gender. But my connection to each human, almost continuously, is governed by my gender and their gender. How I relate to a man and a woman is totally different.

The Deepest Connection to Identity
Our gender identity is the deepest level of identity we have, with the exception of our species. First we identify ourself as a human being, and we identify other human beings. Then instantaneously we assess their gender. It happens so quickly we hardly notice it. Then, based on this gender assessment – our gender integrity comes into question.

When I’m around another man, my masculine qualities are in comparison to his masculine qualities. When I’m in association with a woman, my masculine qualities are in association with her feminine qualities.

But how many of us even understand the true nature and dignified quality of our gender and/or the opposite gender?

When asked about masculine and feminine energy, a lot of ideas come to mind. When we look into modern culture, we don’t see many positive gender examples. There are cartoonish figures everywhere. Sports figures, busty bimbos, or their ridiculous opposite archetypes – bumbling “sensitive” men trying to please their cool and efficient “Strong women”.

To talk about masculine and feminine energy interacting is to potentially conjure up many negative images in people’s minds due to the oppression of the past.

Yes, he is tame now – and she doesn’t take no guff from anybody,.. so why are they both so lost?

A New Paradigm of Relating

It is time to reclaim the dignity of our gender strength and power. “Stellar Relationships” is a study in greater self identity through greater gender identity. It is based on years of Yoga, Vedic study and Meditation (on  a personal level) and Vedic Astrology (in a laboratory setting). I have counseled thousands of couples and seen the dynamics of masculine and feminine interacting now.

Once we understand the dignified quality of both genders, we can understand the validation and integrity we are seeking in relationship. Until we understand this, we will be confused, with the “strong woman” and the “sensitive man” forever entangled in a confusing, downward spiral of gender disconnect.

The biggest problem with relationships now is we do not even understand what a powerful man or a powerful woman is.

But you’re about to learn.

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